Teddy Bears’ Picnic

Teddy Bears’ Picnic

Quite a few years ago, I took a funeral service for a lady who had served in the WRNS (Women’s Royal Naval Reserve also known as the Wrens) during the Second World War. She married but sadly never had children. Instead, she did have a teddy bear whose name escapes me, let’s call him Albert. Every Saturday, she and her husband would go out for the day perhaps by coach or more often by train and Albert always went with them. Picture them, if you will, β€˜en train’, perhaps in a carriage all to themselves with Albert sitting between them, a small suitcase in one paw. It was important that he was positioned so that he could blindly stare out of the carriage window and watch the world go by. In his suitcase, Albert always packed the same two items; a spare jumper and a spare pair of large plain buttons so that he could change his eyes should the occasion arise. Who doesn’t travel with a spare pair of eyes?

At her funeral in the small seafarers’ chapel where I worked, her large coffin was placed on trestles by the altar,  to one side sat Albert in his small deckchair staring blankly at the deceased whilst the organist played that well known 1907 John Walter Bratton classic, β€˜The Teddy Bears’ Picnic’. I kid you not! In truth, the eccentricity of it all made it a memorable and touching tribute to a lady who was by turns hearty, a little domineering maybe even formidable, but kind and caring to a fault.

In my own memory resides a teddy bears’ picnic of a completely different order. With the benefit of hindsight and the experience of living, I would feel fear these days. At the time, I knew what was happening but had no real appreciation of the danger that Nick and I were in. My considered view is that it is better for humans and bears not to mix.

I don’t think that I have ever seen a bear in the United States other than Smokey, so I apologise in advance that this tale comes from an encounter in Canada as opposed to the United States – the subject of this blog – but ultimately we are all cousins aren’t we?

As I recall, Nick and I were on our way through Canada to New York. Nick may dispute the story but this is my version. Our 91st lift with Bob Falcon was a good one. He let us into his vehicle just a short while before darkness fell and I have a very strong memory of passing Winnipeg just as the light was fading. We needed to move on eventhough we had no deadline to meet, I guess it was just road fever claiming us for its own, that insatiable urge to keep moving.

I remember learning about Winnipeg from geography lessons in school, and suddenly there it was, lying before us on an open plain, seeing it was a magical experience. Then the darkness consumed everything and we began to wonder where we would sleep that night. The journey seemed to go on and on, the Great Lakes were also there in the darkness, waiting for us but all I wanted was to stop.

It was around 10 or 11 o’clock at night when Bob announced that he had pretty much reached where he was going and that he would look for somewhere to drop us off. By this stage, Nick and I were used to every type of dormitory accommodation from restaurant doors and hedgerows to barns that kind folk opened up for us. In the end, we settled for what careful research has led me to believe was Nayon Campground 100km outside Winnipeg on the Trans-Canada Highway. There was nothing else that we could see in the dark so we agreed to be dropped off there and thanked Bob and wished him well.

We were grateful for being driven right into the heart of the camp, it had been a long day, we just wanted to crash, there was no enthusiasm for putting up tents so we decided to park ourselves on a couple of picnic tables we found. There were two tables next to each other, so Nick and I simply rolled out our mats and sleeping bags and lay down in a line, head to toe. There was a moment of a few words of chat then  silence as we looked up at the stars and pondered everything, maybe a few more words, then a longer silence, then sleep.

It was peaceful, the road was some distance away, the night air was cool, it was  really easy just to let go and drift off. As I lay down to rest on my hard wooden bed at the end of a long dusty day, the light from the stars above, which had travelled from a time before the world was born, lulled me to sleep accompanied by the cooling breath of the surrounding forest. I closed my eyes and all was still.

I still don’t remember what awoke me suddenly some time later, nor how long I had been asleep. Did something rustle? Was there an unexpected sound? Had my bed been knocked? Whatever it was, I raised my head a little and stared down at the end of the table. I could see the stars still shining but I also quickly became aware of a large shape obscuring the view. It looked something like this.

All I could see was a large shape with two round bits on the top, and then I saw it move.

Being as quick-witted as I am, I soon identified it as a bear. It was clearly picking food from a bin because it was holding something in its paws and then using its claws to very delicately unwrap whatever it had found. My guess was that it was a takeaway wrapper that someone had very kindly left in the bin at the foot of my bed. It was at that moment that I wondered about the food left in our rucksacks. We had been warned by Rangers that it was ok to camp in the woods but that under no circumstances should we leave food in our bags at night, or outside our tent.

Very gingerly, I reached over my head and tapped Nick on the foot. I told him to make no noise and just remain where he was without moving. I’d never had this sort of encounter before but the remedy for our situation was as clear as day, don’t move and be quiet! Nick responded, and just as he was coming to there was a sudden movement at the end of the bed and although I could barely see anything, there was the sensation of a very large shape moving quickly away past my left shoulder. When it had gone, we got our flashlights out and swept the light around our part of the camp site. There were no bears to be seen, but the odd pair of eyes, here and there, reflected back at us from either the forest edge or from within the forest itself.

The next morning, we woke as the sun rose. It doesn’t take much to get up when your bed is a picnic table and you are already wearing most of the coming day’s clothes. Keen to see where we had ended up, Nick and I went for a little stroll waiting for any possible shops and restaurants to open their doors to us – frankly there wasn’t much about.

Slowly, it got brighter and we were soon able to walk around without bumping into things. It was clear that we were on the edge of a forest, the campsite was perfectly placed for both passing travellers and hikers who wanted more. Then we saw the high chain link fencing and something that looked like a caged area, and on it in very clear writing was a Beware of the Bears sign, and β€˜Do not Feed the Bears’ – abit late now I thought.

Perhaps we should have been filled with fear, but not really, just a chuckle that we had unknowingly dodged a bullet. We’d found somewhere to sleep for the night, we’d had a very close encounter with the natural world and the bears had been fed courtesy of a trash can left at the end of my bed. I call that a win, win, win situation.

There are said to be just three types of bear in Canada, the grizzly, the black bear and the polar bear. I am pretty sure that we didn’t meet a polar bear that night, and I’m fairly confident that we didn’t have a Grizzly feasting next to us in the forest. I believe it was a Black Bear that I saw in the darkness. Although not at risk, the Black Bear numbers in Canada settle around the 300,000 – 400,000 mark, which given the size of the country means you would be quite pushed to run into one.  There is also something called a β€˜Spirit Bear’, the Kermode Bear, which apparently is part of the brown bear species.

Β I finish with this piece of advice I once came across. It’s simply this, if it’s Brown β€˜Get Down’ and play dead. If it’s Black – β€˜Don’t look back. Leg it, but don’t run!’ Oh, and remember to pick up small children otherwise you might find you have a Mowgli and jazz situation on your hands, for those who love The Jungle Book.

Time to stop.

63 responses to “Teddy Bears’ Picnic”

  1. Ajinkya Rane Avatar

    Dodged a bear right there my friend! But I must say this in our culture we have this thing called Vaastu Shastra (Object Science) our version of Feng Shui, its different in the sense that it is a belief that all objects have a conscience and must be respected as such by taking care of them and placing them in directions that suit them best. In your case at first I almost believed that the Bear doll Albert was after you but then I realised it could just be the universe sending you a message. I know its not based in science just spooky as hell but I believe it just might be a message for you and your friend from the supernatural. Or just a mere coincidence and something trifle. But your advice on bear safety is top notch.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Neville Avatar

      Thank you for responding. A Christian writer – Thomas Merton – once described the very stones as being on fire with the immanence of God. I agree with that. As for this occasion, it was a bit like unknowingly climbing over the fence in the local zoo to spend the night in the bear pit. It’s funny now!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Ajinkya Rane Avatar

        I can only imagine how it must have felt in the moment lol

        Liked by 1 person

      2. da-AL Avatar

        thanks much for visiting my site. I love anything to do with books & would be thrilled if you’d write a guest blog post for my site, which is for anyone who enjoys writing, or books, and all the arts. If you think it might be fun or helpful to have my followers (who total about 10k across my various social media) meet you, here’s the link for general guidelines:

        Call for Writers: Guest Blog Posts (with audio version)

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      I am very interested in this concept of Vaastu Shasta. Would a bear rug, properly aligned, be considered balanced and positive? And how would bear claws be perceived? I have always found it interesting in America, Bear Claws are a form of breakfast pastry, and have nothing whatsoever to do with actual bears save for the shape of the pastry roughly imitating a bear paw.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Ajinkya Rane Avatar

        Lmao having a bear rug is probably a no no in Vaastu Shastra because it brings a sense of fear as a bear is a predator. But then again it is pseudo science with some practical applications. Some people follow it religiously some don’t. We have a whole section on my website dedicated to Vaastu (Navigation Menu>Lifestyle>Vaastu) if interested. And I have had bear claws for breakfast several times (although partial to Honey Crullers). I lived in Toronto for 6 years during college and its a good rush of sugar early in the day! They used Maple Syrup there I don’t know what they use to glaze these paws in the US.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Chuckster Avatar
        Chuckster

        The contestants on The Great British Bake Off should be required to make Bear Claws on some future episode. That would challenge them significantly. Paul Hollywood could lay out on a Vaastu Shastra aligned bear rug like a 70’s era Burt Reynolds and challenge the contestants to make the pastry. I’m feeling it, the ratings would be astronomical…like Ursa Major.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Ajinkya Rane Avatar

        The ratings would be cosmic for sure!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. da-AL Avatar

        Chuckster, thanks for visiting my site too and sharing I’d love it you’d contribute a guest blog post as well 😊

        Liked by 2 people

      5. Chuckster Avatar
        Chuckster

        That would be fun. Let me know how I can help.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Chuckster Avatar
        Chuckster

        Ah, but I need to clarify. This particular post was completely written and organized by the Rave Knave himself…Neville Jacob. Though I occasionally contribute on his blog, this terrific bear topic was his masterpiece. 🧸

        Liked by 1 person

      7. da-AL Avatar

        here’s the link for general guidelines:

        Call for Writers: Guest Blog Posts (with audio version)


        When you’re ready or if you have questions please email me at contactdaal@gmail.com

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Tippy Gnu Avatar

    I’m glad the bear didn’t mistake you for a meal.

    I like bears. And the further away they are, the more I like them. It’s a good thing they’re more afraid of us than we are of them (usually).

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      I might have completely slept through my closest encounter with a bear, had my mate not nudged me awake. When is awareness a comfort, when is it a curse?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Neville Avatar

        I wonder what you were dreaming mate? A comfy ditch? A dry restaurant door a slow train crossing the Great Plains?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Chuckster Avatar
        Chuckster

        One seldom remembers the dreams? But I remember that bear…

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Tippy Gnu Avatar

        Good question. Which leaves me to wonder, is it better to die in one’s sleep while being mauled by a bear, or to die while awake and being mauled by a bear? I’m not sure where the value was in him waking you up.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. leightontravels Avatar

    What a story! You did remarkably well to stay so calm, it would have been so easy to do the wrong I think and run like mad. I had a giggle at the second bear silhouette, it seems to be doing the Mr. Burns “eeeeeexcellent” pose. As for your Wrens friend how delightfully eccentric, I can picture her with husband and Ted on a train in some quirky Wes Andersen movie. I had to look up the Spirit Bear, it’s quite distinct!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Neville Avatar

      Thank you for your excellent response. I have a feeling that amongst many First Nations people, the bear has a spirit function. We were two rather green 20 year olds with the rest of our lives in front of us. What we did have was the β€˜front’ to take on anything that came our way and make anything of it that we could, such is the blessing of youth.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      I had to look up the Mr Burns excellent pose. Spot on Leighton, you nailed that likeness. I’m truly laughing out loud, rolling my eyes like a very typical emoji Ralph. Nice work. 🀣

      Liked by 1 person

  4. cat9984 Avatar

    What a cool story! I would have had trouble falling asleep in the open for a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      Thanks for commenting cat9984! Being curious about the authors post bear dreamscape is one interesting aspect. I also was wondering about the post encounter dietary fate of the bear!! I confess, I’ve tasted some of the author β€˜Neville’s’ pancakes and they were quite inedible. That poor bear may have had some of the same ill reactions to Neville’s food stuffs as I experienced. If so, poor little bear!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Marie Avatar

    I am concerned for Albert. Was he adopted by someone who continued to love him. I hope he wasn’t discarded. If I was building a story for Albert, I would imagine that he represented a child she had lost or had surrendered for adoption. Albert was her acknowledgement of her loss. My heart goes out to Albert on his loss.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Neville Avatar

      You are making me think here! Thinking back into the dim distant mists of time, I vaguely recall that Albert moved on, he found another family to love him. The deceased was very much loved and so I imagine that her estate was thoughtfully distributed.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Marie Avatar

        That is so good to hear.

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      Wow! I am so thrilled you returned your thoughts to β€˜Albert’ after the story moved off to the Canadian wilds! The story teller certainly left us all hanging on that important detail. I too would hold out high hopes that β€˜ Albert’ would have found a new home worthy of his consideration. Let’s both hope the author can fill us all in on Albert’s fate.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Marie Avatar

        Hopefully Albert has ascended to Ursa Minor or Ursa Major and is still watching the world or universe go by.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Chuckster Avatar
        Chuckster

        Ok, now that is amazing that you chose mythology and astronomy as the fate for the bear! You must have a very advanced and engaged imagination!

        Liked by 3 people

      3. Marie Avatar

        Either that or I am finally losing touch with reality. πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰ Though being born in the North Star State makes me fond of the Big Dipper.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Chuckster Avatar
        Chuckster

        Ahh, the Big Dipper, that’s actually good news. The other Star State is the Lone Star State, the Home of the Big Bopper. The only bears they have there are the right to bear arms. Which are just another term for Bear Claws.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Marie Avatar

        The other star state is high on my no travel list, just after Florida. I’m sure Albert would agree with me and his two fuzzy arms are all that he is willing to bear. πŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒ

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Chuckster Avatar
        Chuckster

        🧸

        Like

      7. Neville Avatar

        My own teddy features in the opening photograph from when I was one year old

        Liked by 2 people

  6. tanjabrittonwriter Avatar

    That was a memorable night. I’m surprised you were able to go back to sleep after that encounter, I think I would have had trouble to. And I might have moved my sleeping pad and bag UNDER the picnic table at the very least which might have given me a semblance of protection, at least in my mind.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Neville Avatar

      Ha! Ha! I don’t think I would want to sit in a bag under the table – next to a bin. In the dark, we could have been mistaken for bags of food!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. tanjabrittonwriter Avatar

        I didn’t think of that!

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      Camping out on the road, thumbing across Canada had all types of interesting β€˜encounters’. Since the story teller elected to tell this tale, be sure to ask him about the night he set his hair on fire too. He may as well tell more of his adventures!! πŸ”₯πŸ™‡β€β™‚οΈπŸ€£

      Liked by 4 people

      1. tanjabrittonwriter Avatar

        I look forward to reading about other adventures!

        Liked by 2 people

  7. Terry Avatar

    Maybe you know that the famous Winnie the Pooh derived his first name from the city of Winnipeg. For a minute, I thought that’s where the story was going. Great recap of the events and I’m happy nobody was injured. We have bears in almost every province here in Canada, so even though we’re a big country, a bear sighting isn’t all that uncommon – it all depends on where you are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Neville Avatar

      I didn’t know that, thank you. I live not too many miles from the Hundred Acre Wood, what a link!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      Actually, Neville may know that, but I certainly did not. That might have added more of a Canadian flavor to his narrative. Thanks for adding addition color to his tale! My sister, who lives in Boise, has a Grandson named β€˜Bear’. I am not aware of his having any affinity for Pots of Honey, nor Winnipeg, but certainly he has no love for Forest Fires.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. WanderingCanadians Avatar

    In reference to the bears, here we like to say β€œif it’s black hit it back, if it’s brown hit the ground, if it’s white say goodnight”. I don’t think I would have been nearly as calm as you in that situation. But then again I’d have probably slept in my tent (ignorance is bliss sometimes) or car.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Neville Avatar

      Ha! Ha! You made me chuckle, I think your advice requires courage in terms of hitting bears. I’d probably chuck my rucksack at it and then leg it

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      That is interesting, and cool to get a Canadian perspective. Thanks for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. knoz alhir Avatar

    ΨͺΩ…Ψͺ Ψ§Ω„Ω…ΨͺΨ§Ψ¨ΨΉΩ‡ ΩŠΨ³ΨΉΨ―Ω†ΩŠ ΩˆΩŠΨ΄Ψ±ΩΩ†ΩŠ Ω…ΨͺΨ§Ψ¨ΨΉΨͺΩƒΩ…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      πŸͺ”πŸ•ŠοΈ

      Like

  10. curious 🌎 Avatar

    β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’š NICE post

    Blessed and Happy afternoon 🌞

    🌹🌷πŸ₯€πŸŒΈ Greetings pk 🌎

    David LΓ³pez

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      Cheers, mate. Thanks for visiting and commenting. 🧸

      Like

  11. Azza El Wakeel Avatar

    The teddy bear’s picnic story is deeply touching and amazing at the same time, how this kind couple found recocompansation through taking care of a toy and giving it their love and attention as if it were their real child!. Your encounter with a bear isn’t less amazing, I cannot imagine how you really deeply felt lying there in the open air the stars watching you not knowing what the bear’s second move might be!. Thank you so much for the great article and the beautiful photos.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Neville Avatar

      Thank you for your lovely reflections, in Britain we are a teddy bear loving nation but the real bears we have no experience of at all! The last wild bear in Britain was killed centuries ago. So in Canada I awoke from my slumbers totally bemused, I didn’t know what to think. To my mind, it would be a lot scarier coming across a bear in the daylight on a forest path. Thank you for commenting so thoughtfully : )

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Azza El Wakeel Avatar

        Thank you for sharing your experiences and amazing adventures!.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      Do you suppose this story could represent a higher concept of acceptance than one kind couple, one small toy?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Azza El Wakeel Avatar

        I suppose so, when we are deprived of something we want so much we have two choices either we remain sad and angry ’cause we cannot have what we want or accept the fact that we cannot have all what we want in life and try to be happy with what we’ve got.
        No matter how long one might live his life will end one day, the best thing is to accomodate to the circumstances and not torture oneself for not being able to acheive something or fulfill a dream.
        The couple in the story are a good example, they chose to remain together and found a substitute for not being able to have their own kid by adopting a toy and they could have adopted a child or a pet!. It’s wise to be flexible and make the best you can to spend your life calmly and peacefully even if you’ll accomplish that through taking care of a teddy bear as in the story!.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Lightness Traveling Avatar

    Interesting. The local (Sierra Nevada) black bears tend to be of the obese, pizza-box licking variety. The black (“moon”) bears in Japan are a bit more dangerous. Northern Japanese tradition is that after they become old enough, they become “onikuma” (ι¬Όη†Š), a sort of mountain demon that sneaks into campgrounds at night to steal livestock… or an occasional human. But stuffed bears, such as Albert, can also be interesting… if they’re old enough. “Tsukumogami” (付ε–ͺη₯ž) are spirits or “kami” that occupy human-made objects (tools, lanterns, Teddy bears…), usually after 100-years. But I doubt those kinds of bears eat much, since they’re almost always stuffed.
    Cheers! (ツ)v

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      In the rugged wilderness of Soldier Field, the Chicago Bears roam with a fearsome presence. Their natural diet consists of rival Packers, Lions, and Vikings, whom they hunt with a ferocity that’s legendaryβ€”or at least, it was back in the ’80s when they had a taste for Super Bowls. These apex predators are known for their unpredictable behavior; one moment, they’re a lumbering force of nature, the next, they’re hibernating in mid-season slumber, much to the frustration of their followers. While their ferocity can be unmatched when they’re on the prowl, they’ve been known to struggle with consistency, occasionally mistaking their own offensive line for a tasty snack. But bewareβ€”when these Bears get hungry for victory, not even the toughest defense can withstand their charge!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lightness Traveling Avatar

        Bears seem remarkably adaptable, especially with regard to diet. It sounds like those Chicago Bears even ply the edges of domestication, eating from dinnerware. But I see why only soldiers would dare enter that field. I wouldn’t want to be the unfortunate back-Packer, mountain-Lion or Nordic pillager unlucky enough to fall into one of those super-large bowls!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Chuckster Avatar
        Chuckster

        🀣

        Liked by 1 person

  13. ugurcanbal92 Avatar

    πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸŒΊπŸ™πŸˆβ€β¬›πŸˆπŸ¦œ

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      Cheers Friend!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ugurcanbal92 Avatar

        Thank you πŸ™πŸ˜‡

        Like

    1. Chuckster Avatar
      Chuckster

      Grazie! E che la tua sia ancora piΓΉ bella e piena di risate! A presto! πŸ’ͺ

      Liked by 1 person

      1. worldphoto12 Avatar

        GRAZIE MILLE.
        BUON POMERIGGIO

        Liked by 1 person

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